I want my tomorrow - NOW!

I feel like tomorrow is just too far away. I can't wait for tomorrow to come, I can't keep my head off it. But why does it feel like ages for the time to pass by? I kept looking at the clock and each time I look at it, the hour and the minute still remains the same!!!!!!

Am I freaking out again? I'm being restless once again.. Why does tomorrow has to be so far? Why aren't the clock moving??! Is it broken?? Should I sleep all through the day? So that when I wake up, it'll be tomorrow? But I just woke up.. I can't go back to sleep again.. I'll just toss and toss around, and end up being more restless than before!

I hate this feeling.. Why does my heart pounds so fast? Why am I all sweaty? And my stomach is churning... I don't feel so good.... And now my head is wandering to a place I dread the most?! Stupid head, stop wandering about!!! Stop thinking!! I can't stop it, it's all happening at the same time. I hate this feeling, I hate it, I hate it, I hate it....

The sun'll come out
Tomorrow
Bet your bottom dollar
That tomorrow
There'll be sun!

Just thinkin' about
Tomorrow
Clears away the cobwebs,
And the sorrow
'Til there's none!

When I'm stuck a day
That's gray,
And lonely,
I just stick out my chin
And Grin,
And Say,
Oh!

The sun'll come out
Tomorrow
So ya gotta hang on
'Til tomorrow
Come what may
Tomorrow! Tomorrow!
I love ya Tomorrow!
You're always
A day
A way!

I'm listening to that song at the moment, and yes, I LOVE TOMORROW! But trouble is, it's a day away!!!!!!!!!!! Waiting for a minute to pass takes an eternity! I hate being restless like this. I hate.... My feelings are all jumbled up. And my head feels like it's gonna pop any time soon... Soon... Soon...

*too tired to blab any more*

Today Is a Good Day

Okay, today actually didn't turned out to be as bad as I thought it would. I was kinda edgy and restless at first when I woke up. That was whyI decided for the movie marathon. Although I actually cancelled myself for the movie thingy, I did however, had a great day today.

I get to see someone I miss the most! Oh, how my heart was racing fast when I saw you... and how I wish I could just touch that face. I can't stop myself from smiling at the sight of you, and my heart was filled with joy a sense of warmth. I just wish it would never end!

It really is a wonderful sight, and I'm glad I missed the movie marathon, cos never in my life would I wanna miss this chance.. I've been missing you for too long now dearest.. and I thank you for helping me get through another day.. I know we don't need words to express how we feel for each other, cos deep down, we both know we're in each others' heart and thoughts..

I'm just so happy today!!!! I feel like singing~ I feel like I'm walking on air~

*breathless*

It's a Sunday!

I'm awake.. and today will be my fourth day being a mute. Today is a Sunday. Should I go out or should I not.. Lemme check the movie schedule first what is on.. I love you Beth Cooper, Imagine That, Orphan, and Up. What should I watch?? Should I watch all? A movie marathon day? Lemme check the time..

I LOVE YOU BETH COOPER (18PL) ENGLISH 11:00 AM 01:40 PM 04:10 PM 06:40 PM 09:10 PM 11:45 PM

IMAGINE THAT (PG13) ENGLISH 11:45 AM 02:10 PM 04:35 PM 07:00 PM 09:30 PM 11:55 PM

ORPHAN (18PL) ENGLISH 11:00 AM 01:45 PM 04:15 PM 06:45 PM 09:15 PM 11:45 PM

UP (U) ENGLISH 12:00 PM 02:30 PM 05:00 PM 07:30 PM 10:00 PM 12:30 AM

I could take Imagine That at 11.45, Orphan at 1.45, I love you, Beth Cooper at 4.10 then Up at 7.30.

Sounds like a plan, huh? But I just hope the cinema won't be full tho.. I hate queuing for more than 30 minutes..

Things I think when I have too much time to waste

Having so much time to waste these few days, I decided to figure out what do I what out of life. I've always been sure of myself when it comes to this matter. But however, along the way, I've lost the security I used to have. I was always sure of what I wanted to be, where I wanted to live, how I wanted to live, etc.

Decisions are now so hard for me to make, I have many elements around me affecting on the decision I make. I guess it was never hard for me last time because I never cared of others, I never bothered to listen, I never let anything gets in my way, cos I want what I want - no compromise.

I actually hate being in a state of unsureness. I like things to be well grounded, I like things to be black and white, where I can confirm things, where I can be sure it's a real deal. I was never the type to sit around and wait for something that may or may not be there. I would always look for something that I can see for myself - seeing is believing. But then again, somehow...along the way.. I lost that too. I do not know whether it is a good thing or a bad thing, being this vulnerable. Being in a state that I was never in. A strange place indeed, and I do feel afraid, I do feel insecure.

I somehow wonder who am I today. What ever did happened to me along the way? Why on earth did I lost myself? I actually do not know...

What is it in life that I want now? At the top of my head is one particular person, someone that could make me fall in love over and over again, someone that never failed to take my breath away.. A particular person that I came to love and care so much about, someone that I wish to hold on to for a long long time... But at the same time, this particular person is also someone that could make me go crazy, insane, out of my head! Crazy because I need to know it's a real deal.. Insane because I can never get the grounded answer.. And I'm going out of my head because no matter how hard I try to stop myself, I always end up falling deeper.. I hate these insecurities, being the vulnerable one..

I do not know where or how to get back what I used to have, how I used to be. It is a good thing by the way? For not being too uptight? For not having everything laid out? To just go about without being secured? Just thinking of it makes my head hurt.

*sigh*

I'm Going cRaZy!

A new day has begun, and I greeted it by waking up at 12 p.m., hahahhaha. I can foresee that today will be another day that I'll lose my sanity. OMG, now I've just realized that I haven't spoken for... 3 days straight! Is my voice still here with me? La la la la~ Oh, thank goodness I haven't gone mute. My housemate is sitting next to me, and yet, I have no idea what to talk with him.

Hurm.. Feel kinda hungry actually, thinking of cooking something to eat, but... would it be polite to do so? Since I know my housemate is fasting.. Oooh.. This year would be my first time trying to fast, hahahaha! Lemme see.. On my first attempt, I was able to fast for more that 24 hours, guess I wasn't doing much activities so, didn't really felt hungry. Cool huh? My second day, I was only able to stand for half a day, and then I ate like a pig, cos I was too hungry. My third would be today. Erm, lemme see, the last time I ate was 6pm last nite, so.. wow, few more hours to make it one day. Hahahha.. Never knew I could actually do it. Hurm, will I make it to one day today? Stomach is growling... To cook or not to cook....

Boringnya TV... Since just now, I've watched The Simpsons, Everybody Loves Raymond, Prison Break,and Smallville (now). I've no idea what Smallville is all about. I didn't even bother to look up and watch. The remote is just next to me....... and my hands are itching to take and change the channel. But my housemate looks like he's really into it. Ok, fine.. let it be then.

I've finally decided to make milo. Hahaha.. My stomach is killing me. Should I have some bread too? Guess I'll wait a bit longer, just heard that he's going out to meet a friend in half an hour. Hohohoh~

I think a new show has just started, no idea what show it is though. Gawd.... I'm goin' outta my head! I wanna go out, but it looks like it's gonna rain soon, and I don't particularly like to walk in the rain.. singing maybe, but not walking.. hahaha.. (I'm starting to talk craps now).

Think I'll stop here for now.. and try to hold on to my sanity....

No Muslims at Malaysia Black Eyed Peas concert

The above was the title that caught my attention while browsing through the web this morning. The concert is a part of celebrations of Guinness 250th birthday and is sponsored by Guinness. The ban was due to the moves against beer sales by the opposition Islamic party, PAS and also the sentence of a 32-year old Muslim woman to be caned after being caught drinking beer in a hotel by Malaysian Islamic court.

It's funny how these kind of measurements were taken to the extreme by these group of people. Quoting the news above, "Even without alcohol, foreign bands are subject to scrutiny. Earlier this week, the Pan Malaysian Islamic Party (PAS) said it wanted Danish band Michael Learns to Rock banned from performing as it would cause immorality.

Since 2007, PAS, the country's second largest political group measured by party membership, has campaigned against performances by the likes of Beyonce, Rihanna, Gwen Stefani and Avril Lavigne."

What are they really afraid of anyway? What is it that makes them so paranoid till they want to ban foreign singers from performing in Malaysia? Would it bring good moral conducts to the people by banning these performances? In what sense does the performances cause immorality? The clothing? The dancing? The songs? Well, they might as well ban all the MTV's and V channel on astro then, since the video clips are more obscene than on the concert itself.

It all comes down to personal choices. Regardless of any religion, all religion teaches good moral conducts. None teaches us to steal, or to kill, or to get drunk, or to fornicate, or to do all the bad things onto yourself or others. But why do all the things above being practiced without even the slightest guilt? It's a matter of choices. God gave us the freedom to choose from good and bad. What good would it be if He created us without giving us the freedom? We would be like robots, programed to do whatever He wants, never knowing the reason we do it, never knowing the meaning of it, and never appreciate it.

So, the question is.. Who are we, as human beings, have the right to take that freedom from his fellow human beings? Are we more than God, that we have the right to impose such ban in order to stop people from engaging any immorality activities? Even if such ban are executed, will it stop immoral activities? Who are we to judge what is good and bad, when we ourselves are imperfect?

It all comes down to personal choices, and that choices will be judged by God in the end, not us human beings.

Source: http://www.reuters.com/article/lifestyleMolt/idUSTRE57Q06B20090827