As good as dead as Einstein puts it

*sigh*

It's been hard for me these few days, weeks, months, I don't know.. I've lost count since when I felt so weak and helpless. Damn, I feel SO OLD! I feel like I've aged for over 50 years. *sigh*

Yes, another sigh to life. A friend told me that the more I sighed, the older I'll become. And what was my reply? SIiiiGH~

There was a point in my life where it was as if time stopped and even though how hard I tried to reason with things, I did not see the point, the purpose to anything.
Things I once believed in became the things I doubt the most. Things I've always hoped for became nothing more than a deserted desire. Things that were once the priority in my life became things that are now insignificant.

It feels as if I am living in an empty body. A soulless body one may call it. Einstein once said "He who can no longer pause to wonder and stand rapt in awe, is as good as dead; his eyes are closed". But... my eyes are opened..and yet I no longer pause to wonder nor do I rapt in awe.. Yes, you saw it coming - another sigh, *sighhhh*

Somewhere some time ago the rate of my vigorousness in life depleted with a negative velocity with a really sharp gradient. Ah~ I'm being 'physical' now, haha! Ermm, a laugh for a lame joke; I should shoot myself now for that. >.<" *sigh* I need a HOLIDAY!! I need to rejuvenate myself. I need to boost myself up again! I need to empty this over-burdened head of mine. I need Bali, I need Paris, I need California Gurls, -we're unforgettable; Daisy Dukes bikinis on top~ I need... I need money, moolah, the green stuff $$$ to go on holidays.. T_T

*SIGH*

As hard as I am trying to find a reason to look forward to in life, (well I guess I should lower the scale a bit to 'tomorrow') - I see a vast field of nothingness...

....

A Long and Stressing Week

The month of August started off badly for me, and it continued to be a stressing week that drained every bit of energy in me. I wonder why this week is particularly bad for me, it is as if I am damned - cursed to have a rotten, stressing and wearying August. It must be in the stars, I wonder what does my August horoscope says.

Horoscope 1:

"The month begins with a feeling of harmony and balance and you are feeling a bit more confident about your financial circumstances. (That is so not true! begins with a feeling of harmony and balance?? My August began with a feeling of stress and imbalance. Confident about my financial circumstances? You are WAY OFF on that one, mister) You feel at ease expressing your deeper feelings to loved ones too. However as the month moves forward the possibility of some tension between your work and domestic life increases, (it began in the beginning of the month, not as the month moves forward) but any challenges you face could be a positive way of clearing the air and therefore making progress in both these areas. If the tension in the air does boil over you can be consoled by the fact that it's all a storm in a tea cup and will settle soon.(I do hope all of them are merely a storm in a teacup)"

Horoscope 2:

"August 2010 would be a positive month, although you will experience your share of hurdles. You still have to remain conscious about what you speak and write. Period beyond 1st August 2010 is quite unreliable as you could end up writing or speaking things which could create controversies (I think this just happened, due to my 'stupiak' application). You also would need to be careful of your position. If you hold any position in trust, please ensure you don't breach the trust.

Expenses will continue to gallop and you should refrain from adding new expenses to your existing burden (*gulp* continue to gallop? sigh.. I think I've got the answer for the question that's been bothering me.). Passions would run high too, which lead to some chances of error in judgment. Be careful and remain within social parameters.

Work environment would be positive, although you will end up working very hard during this time (yes! my work environment IS positive now, the air-conditioner has finally been repaired. Yeah, work load has increased this month, sigh). An element of trust would be missing at times and that could become the basis of issues at times. Money and Finances will be positive (I'm hoping and praying for this to be true!). The level of expenses would remain unrealistic but your income and accruals will outstrip the expenses, creating an impression of abundance during this time (still hoping and praying). Inflows from overseas sources would be good too (hurm..overseas sources? inflows? *on the knees praying* LOL)

First half of the month would be better than the second half of the month (so not looking forward to that...)."

So, that's basically what my horoscope is for the month of August. Supposedly this month will be good for me, but.. sigh.. I guess I'll just hope and pray hard for the 'Money and Finances will be positive' part, >.<"

王力宏 - 柴米油鹽醬醋茶 (Wang Lee Hom - Chai Mi You Yan Jiang Cu Cha)

This would be the first Chinese song that I post. I first heard it in the car and since I've no idea what he was singing about, I tried to memorize a phrase or two for me to Google it cause I like the music. But being Chinese-handicapped, I could only understand 'ni', 'wo', and.... well, that's about it. So, my arduous effort to even memorize a word or two was of no avail. *sigh*

My friend then explained some of the words he was singing;

"something about what you want to be when you grow up, big blue airplane and when I've grown up, what I want.. erk, something like that la"

"Ooo" A song about a big blue airplane? Hmm~ sounds .... >.<

I then Googled "Wang Lee Hom lyrics grow up, big blue airplane" then I managed to get the song, hehe. It's his new song which was released on July 12th 2010. I can't get enough of the song, it's a relaxing and meaningful song. And though at first I was unsure about the-big-blue-airplane song, but after reading its translation, I fell in love with the song even more.

柴米油鹽醬醋茶 comes from an old idiom that roughly translates as "The Daily Necessities of Life"

小時候 你想要什麽
Xiao shi hou ni xiang yao shen me
When you were young, what did you want
我 要一臺大大藍色的飛機
Wo yao yi tai da da lan se de fei ji
I wanted a really big blue airplane
帶我環遊世界
Dai wo huan you shi jie
To take me around the world
到地球每一個角落
Dao di qiu mei yi ge jiao luo
To every corner of the globe
在藍天白雲中穿梭
Zai lan tian bai yun zhong chuan suo
Traveling back and forth among the white clouds in the blue sky

而長大以後 我想要什麽
Er zhang da yi hou wo xiang yao shen me
And after I grew up, what did I want?
我要一臺小 小紅色答錄機
Wo yao yi tai xiao xiao hong se da lu ji
I wanted a small red answering machine
和你一起錄下
He ni yi qi lu xia
So I could record with you

喂 我們現在不在家
Wei wo men xian zai bu zai jia
"Hello, we are not home at the moment"
藍色變成紅色因為你
Lan se bian cheng hong se yin wei ni
Blue became red because of you

柴米油鹽醬醋茶
Cai mi you yan jiang chu cha
Firewood, rice, oil, salt, sauce, vinegar, tea
一點一滴都是幸福在發芽
Yi dian yi di dou shi xing fu zai fa ya
Each and every drop is a bud of happiness growing
月 兒彎彎愛的傻
Yue er wan wan ai de sha
A crescent moon, a foolish love
有了你什麽都不差
You le ni shen me dou bu cha
I already have everything when I have you

小時候 你想要什麽
Xiao shi hou ni xiang yao shen me
When you were young, what did you want?
我要一臺大大藍色的飛機
Wo yao yi tai da da lan se de fei ji
I wanted a really big blue airplane
帶我環遊世界
Dai wo huan you shi jie
To take me around the world
到地球每一個角落
Dao di qiu mei yi ge jiao luo
To every corner of the globe
在 藍天白雲中穿梭
Zai lan tian bai yun zhong chuan suo
Traveling back and forth among the white clouds in the blue sky

哦 長大以後 我想要什麽
O zhang da yi hou wo xiang yao shen me
Oh, After I grew up, what did I want?
我要一臺小小紅色答錄機
Wo yao yi tai xiao xiao hong da lu ji
I wanted a small red answering machine
和你一起錄下
He ni yi qi lu xia
So I could record with you
喂 我們現在不在家
Wei wo men xian zai bu zai jia
"Hello, we are not home at the moment"
藍色變 成紅色因為你
Lan se bian cheng hong se yin wei ni
Blue became red because of you

柴米油鹽醬醋茶
Cai mi you yan jiang chu cha
Firewood, rice, oil, salt, sauce, vinegar, tea
一點一滴都是幸福在發芽
Yi dian yi di dou shi xing fu zai fa ya
Each and every drop is a bud of happiness growing
月兒彎彎愛的傻
Yue er wan wan ai de sha
A crescent moon, a foolish love
有了你什麽都不差
You le ni shen me dou bu cha
I already have everything when I have you

給你快樂無論白天黑夜
Gei ni kuai le wu lun bai tian hei ye
Making you happy whether it's day or night
握 緊雙手就算刮風下雨
Wo jing shuang shou jiu suan gua feng xia yu
Grasping both your hands tightly even in wind and rain
我就是要你
Wo jiu shi yao ni
I only want you
要你待在我身邊
Yao ni dai zai wo shen bian
Want you to stay by my side
保護你直到永遠
Bao hu ni zhi dao yong yuan
Protecting you until the end of time

柴米油鹽醬醋茶
Cai mi you yan jiang chu cha
Firewood, rice, oil, salt, sauce, vinegar, tea
一點一滴都是幸福在發芽
Yi dian yi di dou shi xing fu zai fa ya
Each and every drop is a bud of happiness growing
月兒 彎彎愛的傻
Yue er wan wan ai de sha
A crescent moon shines, a foolish love
有了你什麽都不差
You le ni shen me dou bu cha
I already have everything when I have you

月兒彎彎愛的傻
Yue er wan wan ai de sha
A crescent moon, a foolish love
沒有一個理由
Mei you yi ge li you
There is no reason
活的那麽復雜
Huo de na me fu za
To live a complicated life
有了你什麽都不差
You le ni shen me dou bu cha
I already have everything when I have you

(lyrics source: http://sunset2712.blogspot.com)