A simple "No."

Few years back I had a conversation with a friend of mine about how he confessed to a girl he liked. I find the way he confessed was funny and lame at the same time, but that’s not the point I’m getting in to. In the middle of the conversation, I asked him;

“If you’re in a relationship, will you fight for the girl?”

“Huh? What do you mean?”

“Em, like… If some other guy likes your girl and she likes him back, will you fight to be with her?”

His reply was short. “No.”

“Haaaa? How come? Let’s say you’ve been with her for years. You’ll let her go just like that?” I was looking at him in disbelief and trying to understand who in their right mind will answer no to that question. He then said, “If she chooses him instead of me after all we’ve been through, then what more can I do?”

At that moment I just looked at him in wonderment. This guy is talking crap. He won’t even stand up to fight for someone he loves. What an idiot.

I never did understood what he meant by his answer until one day I watched a movie - yes, I’m a movie freak, I would dream about movies that I like in my sleep for days if the movie deeply affected me. I know, I know, it’s lame. Anyways, back to the movie that I watched, it was about falling for someone at first sight, following what your heart tells you, how the guy lets the girl go so she can be happier and all that crap. When the movie ended, I remembered the conversation I had with my friend years ago. So this was what he meant. But I was skeptical. This is a movie; of course anything can happen in movies. Still not believing any normal person can be like that, I asked another friend the same question. The answer too was “No.”

Suddenly, it got me thinking and I realized that all these while it was me – I was the idiot. I never understood it because I was too selfish. I was too self-absorb that I neglect the feelings of the other person. In my head I wanted to fight for it because it was what I want. I failed to understand it the first time around. And now, it’s like I was hit by a revelation. I see it now.

Who am I to stand in the way of someone’s happiness? Who am I to stop two people from falling in love? What right do I have to prevent someone from getting the love they deserve? And… How can I stand to watch someone I love hurting and suffocating inside due to my selfishness?

Ah, the truth – it really does hurt. But I suppose it’s better to know rather than being ignorant in this matter. George Sand (1804-1876) once wrote ‘There is only one happiness in this life, to love and be loved’. He was right when he wrote that, to be loved by someone that you love is the greatest feeling of all. How can I be in the way of such pure bliss? Though it may hurt me deeply, I would still be happy knowing you get the love and happiness you deserved.